This is a special episode released on Thanksgiving week and it deals with bringing gratitude into your life. Being thankful impacts more than just your personal life as it reflects in your business and society. Let us take a look at a framework about how to make this habit of being grateful a part of your life, business and everything.
The Gratitude Grid
Internal
- Notice: We are able to notice the good and bad things in life, but it is a matter of what we pay our attention to. Without ignoring the bad, intentionally notice the good that comes in our path.
- Humility: It is imperative to be modest and respectful while putting away your ego. Your modesty attracts many towards you, and the respect you have for others will make you humble which in turn will help you become grateful towards the things in life.
- Commit: Really commit to showing gratitude, and stop perpetuating the negativity that might exist around your life. Instead of complaining, criticizing and judging, break that pattern and commit to it.
Activity
- Journal: Journal everyday at the same time to write about the five things that you are grateful for. Those things might repeat or change but you should truly feel, reflect and appreciate them.
- Compliment: Without having ulterior motives, introduce complimenting words as a part of your everyday vocabulary. Don’t miss the opportunities where you can honestly compliment others—that you know or don’t know—at least three times a day.
- Cause: Find the external thing that is driving you and go out there to give back. It should be something that is beyond your accomplishments, and do it so that the lives that you have touched are better because of you.
Practice
- Transform: Your negative associations and memories should be transformed into positives. When they are triggered, you have something warm and fond to remember. Transforming them might be complex but over time it is possible.
- Learn: Get to know about other people and things so that you can grow as a person, intellect and a force in the society. Learn something new every day.
- Sincerity: Be sincere while being grateful. Do not do it just as a checklist, but do it with authenticity. If you really mean it, you end up feeling much better.
— Begin Transcript —
Hey there I’m Mel Abraham, the author of the #1 best-selling book The Entrepreneur’s Solution and the founder of Business Breakthrough Academy where we teach you how to design a business and create a life: A life of financial freedom and peace of mind.
And welcome back to this episode of The Entrepreneur’s Solution show and this one, it’s going to be a little different. It’s going to be a special episode because of the time of year it is. And if you’re watching this on the week that it came out, this is, this in America, this happens to be our Thanksgiving week.
So, in this episode, I want to talk about gratitude. I want to talk about being thankful. I want to talk about how that impacts not only your life but your business, your life but society and how do you bring that in? How do you create that as a habit in your world, in your sphere to really make it come to life?
And as a part of this, I’m going to give you what I call The Gratitude Game Plan and you can download that at MelAbraham.com/session045 to get that. And if you’re not at your computer, you can always text MYLEGACY one-word MYLEGACY to 38470. And we’re going to start into this right after this brief introduction. See you soon.
Hey there, welcome back. I’m Mel Abraham, the author of the #1 best-selling book The Entrepreneur’s Solution and welcome back to this episode of The Entrepreneur’s Solution show. And this one, this one’s kind of special. I just came back from a board of directors meeting. I’m a director on a number of boards of directors, and this is a company that was founded in the late 1800s and one of the cool things about being part of this company is, how I see how they’ve treated their employees. How they’ve effectively taken care of people and when maybe it wasn’t their financial obligation but it was the right thing to do.
And I think that given that this time of year when we’re talking about, at least in America we’re talking about Thanksgiving and giving thanks, and the holiday time and all of that, that is around the globe. And I think that one of the things that we need to deal with that maybe we can do a little bit more of is showing gratitude. And so, that’s what this episode’s about.
- Whether we’re talking about it in business, or
- We’re talking about it in your family life and with your kids; with your spouse,
- With people you meet on the street.
You know what?
There is not enough gratitude going around and yet at the same time, it doesn’t cost us anything to give it. And so, I want to just kind of give you what I think my framework is, what I look at when it comes to gratitude, and maybe a way for you to build it into your life, and make it more of a commonplace, more of something to just come back and look at someone in the eye and say, “You know what? Thank you and I appreciate you.”
And I think that’s hugely important in the kinds of things that we see in society today. I often wonder that,
- If we were a little more grateful for what we had,
- If we were a little more grateful for what people did for us,
- If we were a little more grateful for just the fact that
We’ve got life, and
We’ve got vibrancy, and
We’ve got opportunity, and
We’ve got the ability to do things
Maybe we wouldn’t complain so much. Maybe there’s wouldn’t be so much judgment. May be there wouldn’t be this constant comparison and back and forth, and all of that.
And yet, sometimes we don’t show gratitude. Now during this time of the year, the cool thing is that many times people are more grateful during this time of the year. You’re just, it comes, it starts to bring it out in people and that’s really cool to do that.
But what about, what would happen, just think about it for a moment, just imagine for a moment in your life if those joyous, grateful kind of attitudes; that kind of feeling, that joyous feeling was going on throughout the year and not just during the holiday time, not just now, not just at the end of the year as you’re thinking about the next year but to make it part of your life as you move forward.
And so, that’s kind of what I want to bring about is to have you think about what it would be like to bring gratitude as
- A regular part of your life,
- A regular part of your day,
- A regular part of your week about
- A part of your year
- A part of your business
- A part of everything.
And the way I’d do that is what I call the Gratitude Grid and just like everything else, yeah I got a framework for it. But it’s really about understanding what Internal: The things internally that I need to think about that are internal to me; the Activities that I should take on, and the kinds of Practice—the practice elements that I need to go out and do.
And so, the first thing that I think that we need to think about in this process is what I call Notice. And it’s interesting, we have the ability to notice the good things in life or notice the bad things in life. It’s a matter of what we pay our attention to, and there is a lot of stuff going on. Let’s just face it—in society, in the news, and everything that has bad and good.
Now, I can choose. I’m not saying not to ignore the bad but I am saying to choose, to find the good so we can be grateful for what is there. So, look for the goodness, notice it. Actually, intentionally look at a situation and say, “What is good here? What can come out of it?”
Because when we start to raise that awareness, when we start to look for those things; we’ll find it. Trust me, if you want to find something bad, you’re going to find something bad. If you want to find something good, you can find something good too.
But how often do we intentionally go out to notice something good?
To go into the office and say, “You know what? I’m going to try to find something good about each and every person in the office today.”
To go out on the street and look for something good, and compliment them, and comment on it because when we reward the behavior we want to see we get more of that behavior. And so, the first thing is to notice it.
The second is to have a bit of Humility.
- It’s really about being modest.
- It’s about being respectful.
- It’s about taking the ego and put it in aside, put it in a jar.
The reality is that with that humbleness, with that humility, with that respect that you have that modesty, you’re going to attract a lot more to you.
I truly believe that, and I think I’ve, and I’ve seen it happen over and over again versus some egoic, cocky, really out the overconfident kind of person that goes out there and actually repels someone. And so I think, show up in this world with humility, with a modesty, with a respect for other people to look at their, from a place of giving dignity and respect to other people. So, having humility will help us be grateful for the things that are around us in our life.
Then to Commit to it: To commit to showing gratitude. To commit to … but beyond that; not just showing gratitude but to commit to saying, “You know what? I’m going to also notice when I start to complain or criticize or gossip” and commit to stop being that.
To stop perpetuating the negativity that might exist around you
- In your life,
- In your business, and
- In society in general.
To commit to the fact that when I turn around and I see myself, or I hear myself complaining, criticizing, judging, doing any of those things that I’m going to stop myself. I’m going to break that pattern and I’m going to come back and say, “Let me notice the goodness, let me do it with humility, and let me commit to leaving the criticisms and the gossips aside.”
And so, when we get that internal pillar done right where we’re noticing with humility and commitment to avoid the negative; what happens is that, that starts to become part of our nature and then, we start to look at, “What kinds of things can I do to bring it to the surface, to cement it in, to really build it into a way of life?”
And one of the first things that I do is to Journal. To have a journal, and each and every day before you go to sleep or when you get up in the morning; just pick a time but make sure it’s the same time each and every day.
So, if you’re going to do before you go to sleep, great; if you’re going to do it when you first get up in the morning, great. But make sure you do it each and every time, and get the journal out and write the five things that you’re grateful for and maybe they’re going to be the same things day-in and day-out for a couple of days. And then they’ll change.
But for instance, on my list of the things that I’m grateful, I always have my beautiful wife, my son, his fiancé, family and friends. That’s always going to be there but not to just write it to say check I did it but
- To write it and feel it.
- To write it and reflect on it.
- To write it and look at it and say, “Wow”.
- To appreciate what we have in life.
- To appreciate the fact:
That I get a chance to speak with you.
That I get a chance to do the things that I’m doing.
To see the impact.
To see a lot of the … my clients and the people, the folks that I mentor and the people that I work with.
To go out there and make a difference.
I just had a beautiful experience with one of my clients. We spent a fair amount of time together working on something that she was going to go out and present, and she literally hit it out of the park, and she’s presenting to families and parents with autistic children and to see her go out there and shine. But not only to shine, to bring that good feeling and the knowledge and the information to impact in a positive way in people’s lives, these children’s lives. It’s just, it’s an amazing feeling.
So, to be grateful for that is important; to not take it for granted. And I am truly grateful for every single one of the people in my community; the ones, you guys that are listening and watching and continue to watch over and over and over again with these episodes. So, journal it and internalize it in the process.
And then once you do that then do yourself and everyone else around you a favor: Compliment. Make that part of your vocabulary looking for at least three compliments a day. To find someone, whether even if it’s a … even if it’s someone that you don’t even know. To walk into a register, I can’t tell you how many times I walk into a store, and I go up to the register, and you’re going to check out and I simply go, “How you doing today?”
And it just totally throws them off guard because a lot of people just go through life and they never get a chance, or they never take the time to slow down and up and say, “Hey, how are you today?” To simply smile at a stranger on the street and say, “You know what? That’s a nice outfit or you’ve got a beautiful smile.”
And not with any kind of lectures or ulterior motive but to simply express a compliment because they’ll pay that forward. They’ll continue to do that and you’re going to change and shift their day.
Hasn’t it ever happened to you where someone came up to you and paid you a compliment? And what did it make you feel like just inside?
– That warmth and that energizing feeling, and you walked away taller than you came into that conversation with, and to have that ability.
And then, the last piece of this is what’s driving you? Find something that is important outside of you to give back just like Carry is doing with the family of autistic children; to go out there and make a difference. Something that is beyond earning, achieving, accomplishing, and acquiring but to make a difference to know that everyone that you touched in that moment their life is better off because they’ve known you.
And find that, that’s going to drive you forward, to be able to then when you journal,
- To be grateful for that moment.
- To be grateful for the causes that you support.
- To be grateful for the people that are impacted and affected in a positive way because you exist.
And then, once we do that; I’m going to ask you to practice a few things. We go through life; we go through life at times where we create negative associations with either environment, statements, people; where it brings up negativity in us. You walk into a place that had bad memories, and those bad emotions come back up and everything.
And so, one of the things that we need to do is break that bind and transform if you will; those negative associations into positive associations. To find the goodness again and try to re-associate the goodness and transform the environment or those triggers that typically raise up negative thoughts into positive thoughts; to transform negative associations to positive ones.
And I know that, it’s more complex than that and I know that there’s more to it because of the emotions attached to it but at this stage all I’m saying is to recognize it and start to try to practice it. And over time, the tools, we can get the tools to you and help you with that.
Then once you’ve done that really seek to Learn. One of the things that I think is cool is that we, as a humanity, have the ability to learn. Learn about other people; to learn about other things. To grow and it’s that, it’s in that growing that we feel more valuable. It’s in that growing as a person or as an intellect or as a force in society that we get to feel differently.
And so, what are you doing each and every day to learn something new, to learn something new about someone or about something?
And then the last piece of this is sincerity. To look at things and say, “I’m not just going to go through with emotions” Look I gave you 9 things here.
- Notice
- Humility
- Commitment
- Journal
- Complimenting
- Have a cause
- Transform
- Learn
- With sincerity
And sincerity is really important because if we just go through with emotions here, and you go, “Yeah, I just did the journal.” But there’s nothing to it. There’s no emotion. You’re not connected to it. Do it with authenticity and sincerity. When you give a compliment really meant it. Don’t do it because, “Hey you know what? I watched Mel’s YouTube and he told me I need to compliment 3 people today so there’s one check.”
No. Mean it. Let it come from the heart. Give them a true compliment.
- Be sincere.
- Be transparent.
- Be open.
- Be honest.
Let someone in by letting yourself out; the true self of you. And I think that what you’re going to see in that process is a lot of different things.
- You’re going to feel better about yourself because now you’re focused on your gratitude and the things that are great in your life because you can’t be focused on the miserable parts and gratitude at the same time so let’s focus on gratitude.
- It’s infectious. Someone who’s got joy in their life, who’s grateful, who’s appreciative, who’s expressing compliments and in a sincere way, it’s infectious and it causes other people to do the same thing.
- It is magnetic. It’s going to attract people to you whether in business or just in life and society. Attract good people to you that are going to support you for your cause, for what your mission is, for what you do because it’s a joy to be around you.
And you know what, probably the biggest thing? It just feels freaking good to be grateful about what we have in our life.
I get it, we could always have more.
I get it that we could have had a better day than we did today.
I get it, that maybe I could make more money.
Or I get it that maybe I could have a nicer car.
Or I get it maybe I could be in better shape.
But there’s always a chance to keep building on that way. To appreciate where we are right now and go out and continually improve; to learn to grow and to continue to do that.
And so, I hope that this helps you to go through your days and ask yourself and print this out or put these 9 items in your journal so you look at it in the morning and say, “Alright, I’m going to notice goodness today and I’m going to do it with respect and humility. I’m going to commit to eliminating the gossip and the criticisms and the judgments today. And I’m going to journal from the heart. I’m going to compliment 3 people and I’m going to find that cause that brings joy to me. And I’m going to eliminate and try to transform those negative associations into positive associations. And I’ll allow myself to grow and learn. But I’m going to do it with a sincere, transparent, loving heart.”
I think that, that will change:
- The way you feel,
- The way your life goes, and
- What drives you?
Here’s an interesting thing for you to do. Something that you can do, and I do it on Sunday and it’s what I call the Gratitude Game Plan. And so, if you download the Gratitude Game Plan affectively what you’re going to do; it’s going to be your game plan for the week where you’re going to list out the five people that you’re going to connect with that week.
Five people, that’s all it is. Five people in a week that are acquaintances, family members, friends, friends that you haven’t talked to in a while but you’re going to list them out and then you’re going to list out some of the things you know about them. May be that they have a dog, they have a wife and three kids; those kinds of things.
And you’re going to schedule it into your calendar and you’re going to make one call each day, or you can make them all in one day; it doesn’t matter. But you’re going to make five calls. Not email, not text, a phone call. You’re going to literally pick up the phone. That’s the thing you dial, okay? Pick it up and have a conversation with them and say, “Hey, you know what Bob? Haven’t talked to you in a while. I just want to reach out. See how you’re doing. How’s your family? How are the things going?”
And just to reach out and say, “You know what? I’m grateful that you’re in my life.”
Do that. Tell me what it feels like. Let me know what happens because I know what happens when I do it. It’s a totally transforming experience so think about this: 5 people, 52 weeks, 50 weeks (call it), that’s 250 touch points.
Now, you can probably going to do that with, repeatedly with some people so it’s not 250 people. So, even if you cut it in half you affected 125 people’s lives in the process of simply making a phone call. But more importantly, the energy that you get, the feelings that you get, the fulfillment that you get in the process is going to be amazing.
So, I hope you found this of value to you. Download your gratitude game plan at MelAbraham.com/session045. And if you’re not at your computer, you can text MYLEGACY one-word; MYLEGACY one-word to 38470. And I hope you are having an incredible, incredible week; incredible, grateful day and I look forward to hearing from you, speaking to you and seeing you in future episodes.
If you haven’t done so already, do me a favor? Subscribe. Subscribe and share this with a friend and I will be tremendously grateful for that too. Share it with a friend. Let’s give these tools. Let’s give some of this stuff to the people that mean something to you. Let’s share this, get it out there openly.
And if you have questions, if you need help with something, reach out to me at AskMelNow.com and I’ll be sure to make sure that I support you; get your questions answered on an upcoming episode.
And until we get a chance to see each other again,
May your vision be grand, your journey epic and your legacy significant!
See you soon. Have a grateful week. Cheers. Bye!!
— End Transcript —
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Like this? Please share it and help a few more people bring their dreams out of the darkness and give life to them again. Cheers, Mel
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