SUMMARY
In this episode, we deal with habits. We talk about how habits are
created and how we can change our habits.
Habit Loop
In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg talks about the
concept of a habit loop. There are three factors in it:
- Cue: It is the initiator or driver of the habit.
It is something that triggers a pattern for you without a lot of conscious
thought. - Routine: After the
cue is triggered, what follows next is your habit or routine. It is the things
that you repeatedly or automatically do when the hook is hooked. - Reward: The benefit
that we get when we run a pattern is called reward. It can be positive or
negative.There is a critical point where we can shift things. It could be a slight
or a lengthy moment. So, a fourth component can be added to the habit loop and
it is: - Reflect: The moment
where we have the opportunity to reflect and ask ourselves whether the habits
serves us. If it doesn’t serve us, we can replace it with something that does.
The Anatomy of Changing a Habit
We can change and shift our habit in the moment of reflection. Here’s
how:
- Define the Cue: Realize or
define the hook and where it comes from. Cues can come from different places
like time, location and people. Be consciously aware about such triggers, and
you can shift and redefine it. - Define the Reward: It is the
“Why” that pulls us like a magnet. Find the strong purpose that draws
you towards the dream. Define the reward that is attached with the habit that
pulls you through. - Expectation Association: It is the
path or the norms that is expected by the society. Many times it is the path of
mediocrity. Be aware of the expectation that you associate with; so we can
shift above and beyond it. - Belief Community: It is the
community or the people that you surround yourself with. In order to shift your
expectations, you have to surround yourself with like-minded people that
understand your values and will help pull through.
— Begin Transcript —
Hey there, I’m Mel Abraham, the author of the #1 best-selling book, The Entrepreneur’s Solution and the founder of Business Breakthrough Academy where we teach you how to design a business and create a life: A life of financial freedom and peace of mind.
And welcome back to this episode of The Entrepreneur’s Solution and in this episode, I want to talk about Habits. Interestingly enough, one of the questions I got recently asked to me at one of my live events, Business Breakthrough Academy by someone was,
How do you deal with habits?
How are habits created?
How do you change habits?
And so, when we come back after this brief introduction, I’m going to talk a bit about habits. I’m going to talk a bit about this book: The Power of Habit, a phenomenal book. If you don’t have it in your library, you’re going to want to get it. But we’ll talk a bit about the framework and also the anatomy of changing a habit.
So, when we get back after this brief introduction, we’ll jump right into it. And as is with every other episode, I always have some sort of tool, template, guide, something that can accelerate your progress, accelerate your path to success. And the way to get that for this episode is go to MelAbraham.com/session034.
And if you’re not at your computer. You happen to be out running, at the gym or you’re just not at your computer, you’re driving, go ahead and text MYLEGACY one-word no-spaces MYLEGACY to 38470. You’ll immediately get the link, the download link. So, you can make sure that you get all the tools and templates to serve you, to support you in your growth.
So, I’ll see you back here right after this brief introduction. See you soon. Bye.
Hey there, I’m Mel Abraham, the author of the #1 best-selling book The Entrepreneur’s Solution and welcome back to this episode of The Entrepreneur’s Solution show and as I said in the introduction, we’re going to get a chance to talk about habits. And we’re going to talk about it in the context of this book also, The Power of Habit.
But let me give you some backstory. I was just recently doing my live event. I do a couple of live events and this happened to be the Business Breakthrough Academy. A bunch of entrepreneurs came in. We worked through, rolling up our sleeves and really digging into their business.
- Getting clarity on their vision.
- Getting clarity on their business.
What are the different things that they need to do to really move themselves forward to build that business in a way that it gives them a life of financial freedom and peace of mind?
And one of the questions that came up after the event, we started to talk about habits.
- What does it take?
- What creates a habit?
- What’s the anatomy of changing a habit?
And so, I want to just kind of give you my thoughts on it as well as this book’s thought on it. And when you look at this, Charles Duhigg and I hope I pronounced his name right. He talks about this concept of a habit loop. And he talks about three factors in the habit loop.
The first is what he calls the Cue.
This is the driver. This is the initiator of the habit or the routine. For instance: You may automatically come home from work and for some reason, when you come home from work there’s this innate craving to may be go get a glass of water or some people might be to go get a drink or do something like that. And so that, there’s this connection with something that’s, he calls it cue, I call it typically a trigger or a hook or something like that, that all of a sudden triggers this pattern that’s in our system.
- It’s a neurological pattern.
- It’s a physiological pattern.
- It’s an emotional pattern.
It’s some sort of pattern that starts to play out without a whole lot of conscious thought. So, that first piece is called the cue in his habit.
And many of us, if you examine your life. I bet you’ll find something that every time you do this thing—whether it’s like I said coming home. Whether it’s the first thing you do when you wake up that it triggers this pattern and in doing that.
The second piece that he talks about in the book is this concept of the Routine. Which is really the habit. Once the trigger is triggered or the hook is hooked or the cue is cued—whatever it is—once that happens, what’s the series of events, what’s the series of things that happen? And that’s the routine. That’s the actual habit. It’s the things that you repeatedly do over and over again that are a result of the cue.
So, you’ve got the Cue, you’ve got the Routine and then the last piece that he talks about is this element of Reward.
This is the end game. This is what happens once we run that pattern out and this is, can be the, what we call, I’ve heard psychologists call it Secondary Gain, it’s gain, it’s the benefit that we get out of it. Now this benefit could be a positive benefit. It could also be a negative benefit.
So, I’m not judging what it is. I think that we can all agree that science has shown that smoking is bad for your health. Yet, there is plenty of people that still smoke. And they smoke because there’s something in it for them aside from the addiction that comes out of the nicotine and some of those things. And I’m not talking about that but many times people smoke because it allows them to slow down, it allows them to reconnect with themselves and there’s some other additional elements/rewards.
Some people eat and they get connection through that. So, what’s the game, what’s the reward out of this habit, this routine, this pattern that is playing in your life? And so, one of the things that Charles talks about in his book is understanding how to manage these things.
Now, as I’ve kind of gone through it, I realize that there is a critical point where I think we have the ability to shift and change our habits. If we’re conscious and we’re aware of it, many times these habits that happen, and I’m sure I have plenty of them. And probably, the easiest way you’re going to find out is to simply ask my wife.
She’d probably say, “Yeah here’s a whole bunch of habits” that probably irritate the heck out of her. But the bottom line is that we all have them and they can move us in a direction of growth or they can move us in a direction of shrinking and not going.
So, the key is really, “How do I make sure that I create habits that move me in the direction consciously and intentionally, move me in the direction that we’re going?”
And those of you that know me know that, intentional living is one of the things that I talk about. When we talk about designing a business, we talk about being intentional with how we create something so we can have the life that we want and not passively being some passenger on someone else’s bus of life and doing it that way.
So, there’s a critical point I believe as I’ve kind of looked at this that we can shift things. So, I kind of took his habit loop model and added one component to it. So, I think that, that once we get through the trigger or the cue or the hook as I call it, the routine that we’re walking through the habit, then the reward, there is a moment and that moment could be ever so slight or it could be lengthy where we have the opportunity to Reflect.
To reflect and ask ourselves the question, “Does this habit serve me?”
And not necessarily, well, it serves me because I like to eat or what have you. But does it serve you in creating the life that you want? Is this going to move you closer to that type of life? And if it’s not, does it makes sense to start shifting the habit?
So, there’s this, this moment, this crack if you will in the armor where we get a chance to reflect on what just happened or what we just did. What unconscious pattern we just ran through and say, “Does that serve me? And if it doesn’t serve me, what could I do and how could I shift it to allow me to create a different habit?”
Now, I’m not saying that you eliminate habits. Because I think that what happens is we create these neurological trenches if you will, these connections and so what we need to do is rather than trying to eliminate it, how about we replace it so there isn’t a void there? But let’s replace it with something that is,
That moves you in the direction that is more positive.
That moves you in the direction that you want.
And so, in that moment of reflection, I think that we have a time where we can shift and change things in our life. And so, that leads me to this concept of, well what are the things, what’s the anatomy, if you will, of changing a habit.
And here’s how I see it. And here’s how I’ve done it through the years. Here’s the things that I’ve looked at over time to really start to understand that:
And the first is to specifically, Define the Cue, the trigger, the hook and realize that, or redefine it. Let’s look at it that way. If I have a specific hook, maybe I can shift and redefine it. Or if I want to create a new habit, then I can just define it from the get go.
And my trigger and my hook can come from a couple of different places. 1) It could be Time. It could literally be, for instance: when I’m working about every 90 minutes, between 70 and 90 minutes, I get up and I move around and I try, because I want to keep my energy up. So, what happens is that I have a time trigger that gets me to do that stand up and move. So, I could have a time of day. I could have a time trigger.
I could have, when I wake up the first things that I do are this. Whether it’s brushing my teeth and get ready. And the first thing I do is go to the gym. So, there’s this process, this pattern that I run based upon time.
The other thing that we can do with cue is, is it could be based on Location. I know that many times. It’s interesting, when I, I travel a lot and for some reason, every time I get into a hotel room, I have this desire to just may be just get something to eat. And it’s not because I haven’t eaten. Usually, I’ve eaten on the plane or I’ve eaten on the way. But I notice that.
So, remember that reflection piece, I notice that and I go, “Am I really hungry?” or is it a psychological trigger that has set-off a series of habits or series of events or pattern in my system that’s getting me to say, “Hey, you know what? Let’s get something to eat.” And I look at it and I decide, “Do I need to do it or not?”
So,
- Could be time.
- Could be location.
- It could be an event.
- It could be something that happened.
- Something that precedes the event.
For instance: There’s a series of things that I do before I go out and speak. So, I do my own live events. We do 3 day, 4 day workshops, 2 day workshops and then I go and do keynotes and speaking around the world. And before I get on stage, there’s this pattern of things that I do to set my state, to set me in a place, so I can be focused on the audience. So I can be focused on you to make sure that I can serve at the highest level.
Even before I turn the camera on and do one of these things, one of these episodes there is, there is a process that I go through. So, there’s this pre-event, this pre-event kind of pattern that I go through. So, your trigger could be even based; it could be emotionally state based.
And so, one of the things to be aware of is that depending on emotion. Like I know and I will tell you totally up front. If I’m going to eat, I’m a stress eater. I usually eat extremely healthy and extremely clean diet. I do have this bit of a sweet tooth and all of that but for the most part, I eat pretty healthy and the fact to the matter is that I can see in myself that when my stress level goes up, I’m a stress eater. So, that emotional state sets off a series of events. That trigger that sets off a series of events.
And then the last piece, it could be People. Believe it or not that you can see someone, be with someone or do something with someone that sets off a pattern. So, consider this and think about how this will affect your relationships.
If each and every time you walk in and you see your spouse or your significant other, your partner, you create a habit. For instance: A lot of times, I’m working in my home office and my wife is out doing her things for the day. She’s running her business and running her teams and she’s out on the field and she comes home, she comes home from a long day doing what she does. And I could easily turn around and have her walk in and go, “Hey honey” and just go about my day.
But one of the things that I’ve tried to do and I think I’m pretty successful at it. We can ask her but it is that, when she comes in I stop and it’s a habit to stop. Give her my moment, give her that moment and say, “How is it going? How was the day?” that type of thing. And I know that I’ve, I’m not a 100% on it but I know I have that habit. So, people can be that trigger of habit.
So, one of the things to do is think about your cues. Be consciously aware about the cues that you have in your life. The trigger points that you have in your life and may be—if you’re trying to create a new habit vs. changing—shifting the cues and defining something that makes sense for you.
The second thing that I think we can look at is Defining the Reward. And some people will talk about this as the Why. And I talk about this in the context of building a business saying, the “How” and the “What” is pretty easy. It’s the “Why” that we got to get straight because that’s what’s going to drive us.
That Why, that reward is the magnet that pulls us. It pulls us in and when we, rather than trying to push yourself along, when you have something that’s magnetizing you, that’s pulling you, that’s drawing you and that force is much greater than the push. So, how you define your reward becomes really, really important.
If you’re primarily focused on a reward that has feeble connection with something that’s meaningful for you. For instance: A lot of this stuff that I do is driven, it’s never driven primarily by money. It’s driven primarily
- By purpose,
- By transformation,
- By making shifts,
- By having an impact,
- By seeing the light go on in people’s eyes.
> To see their dreams come alive.
That’s why I do what I do and that reward pulls me forward, and continues to pull me forward. In this last Business Breakthrough, we had a young boy, young man I should say not a young boy, 14 years old. And he literally he was there because he wanted to understand entrepreneurship. He wanted to understand the right way from the ground up.
And he’s been reading about entrepreneurs whether it was Zuckerberg and Branson and Gates, and understanding what’s their thought process. And you know, the coolest thing about it was, he came to his dad and he said to his dad and his name is Drew. The boy’s name is Drew. He went to his dad and he says, “Here’s what I want for my birthday. I would love to go to Business Breakthrough Academy so I can learn from an entrepreneur that’s done it in his work with some tremendous entrepreneurs.”
So, he literally came and sat in that audience totally focused and taking tons of notes and looking at his future at fourteen years old. And I look at that and I said, “How does that not drive me forward?” That’s what drives me to see that young, vibrant soul looking at things and saying,
I want to be better.
I want to have control.
I want to be able to live life my way.
I want to have an impact.
I want to do things differently.
And I want to make a difference.
And that, so that’s, that’s the thing about reward. So, what’s the why behind that habit? What’s the reward you’re going to attach to that habit to draw you through, to pull you through?
Third is, this Expectation Association.
And I call it expectation association because it’s about what other people expect to be. And this can be just as well negative in the sense that society has expectation, society norms kind of a thing. But, when you talk about society norms potentially they say, “Well this is the way it’s always been done and follow that well-worn path.”
And the challenge with that, is that well-worn path many times is a path of mediocrity. And so we need to be aware of that and one of the things that we can shift is our expectations above and beyond what is out there. And we need to be really deliberate about what expectations we associate with; which kind of takes you to this next piece also.
And I think they go hand in hand, that’s this what I call Belief Community. And when I talk about belief community, it’s about who you surround yourself with. So expectation association, you look at it and say, “Look, I need to shift my expectations and in order to shift those expectations, I might actually need to shift the associations and the community that I’m operating in.”
In other words,
I want to surround myself with like-minded people.
I want to surround myself with people that will raise the standard.
I want to surround myself with those people that understand the values and the things that I’m trying to accomplish and
- Are going to pull me through.
- That are going to support that journey.
- That are going to look at it and say, “You go this”.
- And champion and cheerlead for you.
And so, it’s about creating a belief community. Now, don’t mistake what I’m saying here. I’m not talking about surrounding yourself with a bunch of people that are only going to say yes to you. I want you to surround yourself with people that understand where you want to go.
- Whether it’s, “I want to lose weight.”
- Whether it’s, “I want to build a big business.”
- Whether it’s, “I want to be a better dad or I want to be a better partner.”
Whatever it is I want you to think about, “Have I surrounded myself with good role models and people that and a community that:
- Will have a belief in me.
- Have an expectation in me.
- And going to support that journey and say, “Hmm, are you sure you want that third ice-cream if you’re trying to lose weight?”
And do those things for you vs. just calling you and allowing you to do the things that maybe don’t serve and don’t serve the journey that you want to be on.
So, when we look at habits this is the way I look at it and I think that moment of reflection is the most important part because then when you look at that, I then have the ability to look at it and say,
Can I change the cue or the trigger?
Can I re-define the reward that draws me through better?
Can I shift the expectations and associations?
Can I shift the community that I’m operating in?
Can I change and tweak the pattern in doing that?
And that’s really how I see the anatomy of changing a habit and looking at it from that perspective and realizing that a habit is simply
- A neurological pattern,
- A physiological pattern,
- An emotional pattern.
> That’s been created over time and we can adjust and tweak and do things to shift those patterns or
- Develop new patterns.
- Develop better patterns.
- Develop better habits.
> That serve us at the highest level.
The first things first with everything that we’re trying to do is we need to become aware of it.
So, I hope you found that this, at least, starts to dissect the elements of habits and how those habits can affect you and how you can affect them. We’re never, we’re never really the victim of our habits. We are never at the mercy of our habits because they were internally created, they can be internally recreated or shifted or redefined. Once we become aware and conscious of it, we then have the ability to make the proper shifts to shift us into the direction that we want to be.
So, I hope that serves you. I hope that gives you some food for thought, some things to consider as you move forward. And just like every other episode, like I said, there’s a workbook, there’s a guidebook that goes along with this to help you start to define and redefine your habits, to look at some habits that maybe, you don’t have and want to bring into the game. So, go ahead and download that by going to MelAbraham.com/session034.
And if you’re not at your computer or you happen to be at the gym or you’re driving and you’re just not in a place you can download the guide, go ahead and text MYLEGACY one-word no-spaces to 38470. We’ll send you the link so when you get back to your computer, you can immediately download the tools and do it that way.
And if you found this of value, you got some friends out there, you go, “There some habits they might need to change or some new habits they might need to create”, why don’t you share this with a friend? Share this with them and let’s give them some of the same tools that we’re giving you to accelerate your success, shift the path that you’re on and to give you the freedom that you’re looking for in your life.
And if you haven’t done so already, make sure you subscribe, so you’re always going to be on the list and get notified every time I put out a new tool, a new template, a new training that’s going to allow me to be your entrepreneurial mentor, your success mentor and allow you to build on it.
And I’m here to answer your questions and if you have any questions for me, about business, success or wealth, go ahead and leave them. Go to AskMelNow.com and leave me your question there. We’ll make sure that we get it on an upcoming episode, so I can serve you and support you on your journey.
And until we get a chance to see each other again,
May your vision be grand, may your journey be epic and your legacy significant!
See you soon. Cheers. Bye!!
— End Transcript —
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Like this? Please share it and help a few
more people bring their dreams out of the darkness and give life to them
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