In this episode, we talk about self-leadership and how it relates to
entrepreneurship and your success. Before we start with personal development,
we need to start with our “self” first. We have to be aware of the
things that we are doing.

Funnel of Self Leadership

The funnel of self leadership allows you to shift your life and the
things that you are doing. You create a path that moves you from being
accidental to intentional.

There are 6 stages:

1. Awareness: Everything
   begins with awareness. We cannot shift things if we are not aware. So, the
   first stage is being self-aware about what you know, don’t know and where you
   want to go. When we consciously work on self-awareness, we not only become
   aware of our surroundings but we also start focusing on building our ability.
2. Ability: When you
   become aware, you now have the ability to start building core skills, knowledge
   and tactics to elevate the things that you are doing. You have to look for gaps
   in skillsets and strengths to nurture, cultivate and develop those skills.
3. Application: Next, we
   have to start taking action and actually make things happen. The action is not taken
   to get end results directly. It is to get feedback which allows us to take
   better steps until the final result is achieved. So, without allowing
   procrastination disguised as perfection to stop us, we need to take action.
4. Accountability: You need to
   take responsibility for all the actions and outcomes. There is no benefit in
   pointing figures at others. By taking accountability, you will learn and grow.
5. Acceptance: You must
   accept the fact that nothing will go as planned. All the great plans and
   strategies we create never work out in their original form. So, allow yourself
   to be flexible in the process. Never wallow in pity. Instead accept the facts,
   make changes based on the information and keep taking action.
6. Assertiveness: The final
   stage where no matter the obstacles, you need to stay true and committed to
   your purpose and mission. Never give up and find ways to move around. Take
   concerted actions and execute until you figure out the core functions of the
   business.

— Begin Transcript —

Hey there, I’m Mel Abraham, the author of the #1 best-selling book The Entrepreneur’s Solution, the founder of Business Breakthrough Academy, where we teach you how to design a business and create a life: A life of financial freedom and peace of mind.

And welcome back to this episode of The Entrepreneur’s Solution show and in this episode we’re going to talk a little bit about something that I don’t necessarily talk about a tremendous amount. But this whole Personal Development Shift and I’m going to tell you that and I am a personal development junkie.

I believe in growth.
I believe in life-long learning.
I believe in all of that.

But I think, what’s more important than personal development, is self-leadership. And so we’re going to talk a bit about Self Leadership and

• How that relates to entrepreneurship.
• How that relates to your success.
• And how that relates to the things that you’re doing in a different way.

Right after this brief introduction. And if you want to make sure that you get the downloadable tool, template and guidebook for this episode, make sure that you go to MelAbraham.com/session036. And if you’re not at your computer then just text MYLEGACY one-word no-spaces MYLEGACY to 38470.

And we’ll see you right back here after this brief introduction. We’ll talk about self-leadership. See you soon. Bye.

Hey there, I’m Mel Abraham and welcome back to this episode of The Entrepreneur’s Solution and in this episode, like I said, we’re going to talk a bit about what I call Self Leadership. What I call The Funnel of Self Leadership.

Now, I’ve been involved in the personal development space, the growth space, the expert space, the business space for decades, for 3+ decades now. And so, I am a product of constant life-long learning. I am a product of this environment. So, I think that, I don’t mean to be flippant when I say, “Personal development…eh…it’s not that important.”

It is. It’s tremendously important but I think that we need to start with our self first in the context of how we lead ourself. And I think that this is, not to get on a soap box but,

• I think we’re lacking this in society today.
• I think that we’re lacking it in business today.
• I think we’re lacking it in some of our youth today.
• I think we’re lacking it in society.

And I don’t think that we’re holding people to a standard and that we’re not self-aware of the things that we’re doing. So, this is my framework that I use for what I call self-leadership. The funnel of self-leadership and it’s to allow you to shift your life; to shift the things you’re doing, to create a path that moves you from being accidental or co-incidental to intentional.

Many times, there’s people that are successful in spite of themselves. But what I want you to do, what I’m inviting you to do, what I’d love to … think about it for your life. Wouldn’t it be cool that you sit back and you say, “Here’s my goal; this is where I want to go”?

And you set that path and you create it so it is based upon your intent and not just some co-incidence, not just some happenstance, not just some accidental happening that you go, “Wow, I was successful.” But you actually engineer it and this is the process that I think that will shift things for you, when you do this and you’re constantly working from this.

And I think the first phase of this, the first stage of this is what I call Awareness. Everything begins with awareness. If we’re not aware, we can’t shift things. If we’re totally oblivious, we all know people. We all know people that are kind of going through life oblivious to what’s going on around them. They’ll get into a conversation or you may be in it.

Have you ever had this happen?

You’re in this really intimate deep conversation and you’re having this serious discussion, and in comes this person that is totally unaware of their surroundings and what’s going on. And they just bust in, “Hey!” and,

• They’re loud,
• They’re intrusive,
• They’re vibrant, and
• They’re funny and all of that.

> But their timings is way off.

We’ve all been there. I’m sure that you’ve been there. It’s about being self-aware. Being self-aware about:

• What you know,
• What you don’t know, and
• Where you want to go.

That’s the first stage, is really, “What is your awareness? What is going on?”

And sometimes, we just happen to know that. We’re good at it. We’re in tune with it. We’ve got what some people call sensory acuity, sensory awareness. Others, we need to actually specifically set down or certain aspects of your life.

I know for me, I look at my life, I’m pretty self-aware about a lot of things that go around me. But there’s times that I’m not self-aware about other things that maybe I need to do around the house and that type of thing. So, I need to consciously work on that self-awareness because unless I become aware of it,

I cannot shift it,
I cannot change it, and
I can’t do anything about it.

So, when we then do that, we not only become aware of our surroundings and what we do and don’t know, we also start to focus on building our ability.

The next stage is that when I become aware, I now have the ability to say, “Let me build the core knowledge, the core skills, the core tactics, the core understanding that exists to allow me, to start to elevate, to start to escalate, to start to accelerate the things that I’m doing.”

So, start with awareness then I look at maybe some gaps in:

• My skillset,
• My strengths,
• My knowledge,
• My understanding.

And say, “Alright, so now let me nurture. Let me cultivate. Let me calculatedly go out and develop those skills and specifically in a disciplined way start to develop those skills.”

Once we are aware and we start to develop the skills, we go to this next stage. Stage 3, which is really about the Application.

• This is about taking action.
• This is about doing the stuff.
• This is about getting out there and actually making it happen.

Many of times, I’m going to these…to training programs and seminars and conferences, and I’m speaking at them and I see the same people, conference after conference after conference. They got notebooks and they’re taking notes and they’re taking pictures and they’re buying stuff but they never go out and do anything with it.

• At some point, at some point, if we want to make a shift.
• At some point, if we want our life to change.
• If at some point, if we want to have an impact.
• At some point, we got to go do something.

> We got to go take action.

But, what happens is and I talked about this in the last episode is, we get this, The Perfectionist Syndrome. And that perfectionist syndrome is a paradox because on one side is perfection, on the other side is procrastination.

And the reality is that, well I just need to know a little bit more. And I was guilty of it at one point of time. Heck if you look at me, I’ve got more credentials after my name for valuation and consulting and strategic work than I know what to do with. And I did it because 1) I needed it because of my testimony at trial but at the same time part of me, I think, part of me was really looking at it and going, “I just need one more credential, then they will take me seriously. I just need one more education, one more class, then they’ll take me seriously. I just need one more and then they’ll do it. And then I’ll do it and then I’ll do it.”

And you know what? You never do it.

I’m just saying, I’m here to say; I’m here to give you permission. You’re enough, you’re enough. Go out and do it. Start to take action. It’s not about taking action to get the end result. It’s about taking action to get feedback so you got more information to take a better action until you get to the end result. And that’s what the process is.

And many times we’re afraid to make a choice, we’re afraid to make a decision because we think it’s terminal; because we think that when we make a wrong action, a wrong decision, it sets our feet in concrete. And I tell you that very few things that we do are terminal. Very few things are permanent. Very few things.

Now, there are some but by and large, no matter what it is, it’s typically something that you can recover from. And it doesn’t set a direction until you have a bunch of decisions along a line. It only set a point. It sets a point where we can stand there and say,

Hmm, that worked, that didn’t work.
How could I make it better?
What did I learn?
What do I want to do next?

And then make another decision based on new information. That’s why we take action.

• We take action because it gives us clarity over time.
• We take action because it gives us movement over time.

When we don’t, when we sit in inaction because we think it’s not perfect yet, we’re never going to move. Because what we’re really doing is using perfection as procrastination. And we’re titling with perfection because it sounds good. And I hate to be direct about it but that’s truly the case and at some level many of us have had this including me.

And in fact the book, my book, it’s a #1 national best-selling book. Would’ve never got done if I didn’t get kicked in the behind and if I didn’t get kicked in the butt by a great mentor, a great friend, a brother to me, in what we did.

And years and years ago, he looked at me and said, “Why haven’t you written the book?”

And he kicked me in the butt to do it because I was sitting back going, “It’s not perfect yet. It’s not perfect yet.”

Now that was my way of procrastinating. It was my way of being fearful that, “What are people going to think if I don’t put the book out there. If I put the book out there and they don’t like it. How am I going to handle it?”

Listen, nothing’s ever going to be perfect. So why don’t we get it out there and let’s go for excellence. Let’s look at it and say, “I can make an adjustment if I need to.”

But let’s take action. Let’s not allow procrastination disguised as perfection to stop us from our dreams and many of us do. So, let’s get it out there and let’s make a difference. Start taking action. That’s the next step.

So, I get my awareness, I start to build the abilities and knowledge and understanding and the skills, and now I take action.

The next stage is this: Is Accountability.

I need to take responsibility for all the actions and the outcomes that I take. That’s the fourth stage—Accountability.

Listen, some of you have heard this story. I lost, I got involved in an investment in 2005. In 2005, I got involved in an investment that turned out to be a Ponzi scheme—wiped out one-third of my net worth. Now, I can laugh about it today only because I was able to recover and not only recover, go well past it. I mean, over 300% based on the principles and the things that I’ve taught within 18 months, was able to do that.

The challenge is this:

• There’s no way I would have been able to recover.
• There’s no way I would have taken the action.
• There’s no way that I would’ve built the knowledge and the skills and the tactics and strategies to recover.

>If I was not willing to take responsibility.

If I was simply going to point the finger and say, “Well, it’s the economy’s fault. It’s because he was a thief and he stole from me, and it’s his fault.”

Or any of the things. When I start to point things outside of me then I had no ability to shift or change things. Now granted, he is a thief. He is a deceitful little schmuck that stole money and stole people’s lives. Now he didn’t steal mine because we were able to rebuild it. But I know people that have suffered and have continued to suffer since 2005, since he did that. Now, he’s rotting in jail right now and it’s where he belongs; sorry about the emotional detour.

But by the same token, I needed to acknowledge and take responsibility for the fact that:

1. I got involved with it.
2. I stayed involved with it.
3. And then I had to look at it and say,

What did I learn?
Why did I make the choices?
What caused me to make the choices?
How do I make sure it doesn’t happen again?

It’s the only way to grow.

• So, we need to be accountable for our outcomes.
• We need to be accountable for our actions.
• And take responsibility for that.

When we do, we can then move to the fifth stage which is Acceptance.

Acceptance is, accept that the fact that nothing is going to go as planned.

We’re going to create this great plan.
We’re going to have all these strategies.
We’re going to create these skills.
We’re going to go out and the first thing we do is going to throw the plan all to hell.

It’s just not going to work. And I get that but that’s the way it is. So, acceptance is another place. To sit back and say, “Nothing’s going to go as planned.” And allow yourself to be flexible in the process.

So, I‘m going to be responsible and I’m going to be flexible because I’ve accepted the fact that things aren’t going to go as planned and so I’m going to need to shift and change based on new information and keep taking action. That’s going to allow us.

Because if we sit there and wallow in our sorrow, wallow in our pity, create a pity party—we’re not going to get anywhere. And it’s not going to serve us in the long run. We can go through our grieving process. We can go through our mourning process for a time but at some point:

• We got to pull ourselves up,
• We got to accept what it is, and
• We got to move on the new information.

Look, the economy’s going to ebb and flow. I can sit back if we have another 2008. We just, given the timeframe, we just dropped 1300 points in the stock market in a couple of days. Now I could wallow in fear and freak out or I can accept what it is and say, “What’s the new decisions that I need to make?” Take responsibility and move on.

So, that next stage is acceptance. And then the final stage is this: Assertiveness.

Stay committed and true to your mission. Stay true to your purpose. No matter the obstacles. No matter the frustrations. No matter the resistance. Stay, stay true. Churchill said, “Never, never, never, ever, ever give up”. And those words have never been truer than in an entrepreneur’s world, in a business person’s world.

So, it’s really about understanding that and saying,

Let me stay attached to my “Why”.
Let me stay attached to the reason that I’m here.
Let me stay attached to what impact I’m having.
Let me stay attached to that.

And stay true to the mission and find the ability to navigate. Find the ways to move around.

• Many people have fallen in the struggle.
• Many people have transcended and moved beyond it.

People have heard me speak about Robin Chase who was the founder of Zipcar. She got, here’s a mother with children and a husband and she’s created this company, and she’s going to … they’re down to 68 dollars in their bank account. They’re ready to file for bankruptcy and that’s when they get funded and ultimately sell the company for a billion dollars. And her life and everything has shifted because

She stayed true to her mission.
She stayed true to her purpose.

• But she listened,
• She took responsibility,
• She took acceptance, and
• She took action.

She listened to what was going on, made some changes and was flexible in the process. So, stay true to your mission. Stay attached to it and keep moving at all levels.

And so, when you think about this in the context of business, and I think we’ve talked about it here but just being aware of what you know and what you don’t know becomes important in business because now I know:

• What talent I need to bring in.
• What talent I need to hire out or outsource in doing that.

But they also figure out—in that process of being aware—what the core functions are of the business. The core value drivers of the business. That the way I create value for my customers and my team and now I create a process to develop that in me, as the entrepreneur and my team, as the support to the entrepreneur.

And then we take some concerted action. We execute, execute, execute.

Remember, there’s two things that drive your business.

1. The decisions you make, and
2. The execution you do.

So, one of the biggest failures for business is the failure to execute or execution failure. And so, what we need to look at is let’s make sure,

• That we execute in business.
• That we take responsibility.
• We keep our fingers on the pulse.

We talked about business systems in the last episode.

• That we’re tracking things, and
• That we’re measuring things, and
• That we’re managing things.

So, we’re being responsible for the actions and the outcomes in the process, and be accepting of the fact that if we created a business plan which I talked about in an another episode, that, that business plan is probably going to get shot to hell in a quick, quick second.

And so, now the process of doing that business plan becomes important because we’ve thought through the alternatives and we can then be flexible in the process, and we stay true to serving our customers at the highest level that we create a transcendent customer experience. That we’re working to shift their lives and change their lives with our products or services in the process.

That’s the funnel of self-leadership. That’s what I think is really important and you dedicate yourself to this constant process of self-leadership to self-growth. Some people will call it personal development but I think it begins with “self” first and then goes outward into the world in an entrepreneurial endeavor.

So, focus on that and ask yourself the questions as you move through it:

Am I being aware?
Am I developing the ability?
Am I applying it?
Am I taking action?
Am I being accountable and responsible?
Am I accepting the things as they are so I can shift and move from that?
And am I staying true to the purpose?

And when you do, and you do that over time persistently and consistently over time, you will be surprised at what happens. So, that’s my funnel of self-leadership. I hope you found that of value. I hope you found that, this useful. If you’re looking for tools, tactics and templates, stay with me here. That’s what this is about.

• It’s about your success.
• It’s about your wealth.
• It’s about your freedom.
• It’s about your peace of mind.
• It’s about your entrepreneurial drive and your entrepreneurial endeavor.

So, make sure you subscribe to stay with me and do that. If you want the tools and templates from this episode, just go to MelAbraham.com/session036. If you’re not at your computer and you happen to be just listening to the podcast or you’re out running around and doing that, just text MYLEGACY one-word no-spaces to 38470.

If you happen to have a question about wealth, about success, about entrepreneurship, about business, anything like that, go to AskMelNow.com. Leave me your question. We’ll make sure that we get it on an upcoming episode so we get your question answered and we support you on your journey; so we make it an epic journey.

And until we get a chance to see each other again,

May your vision be grand, your journey epic, and your legacy significant!

See you soon, talk to you soon!!

Oh by the way, share this with a friend. We want to make sure that we have a whole big community of entrepreneurs, an army of entrepreneurs out there making a difference. So, share this with a friend. I’ll see you next time.

Thanks a lot. See you soon. Cheers. Bye.

— End Transcript —

++++++++++++++

Like this? Please share it and help a few more people bring their dreams out of the darkness and give life to them again. Cheers, Mel

++++++++++++++